My name is Ben Trueman I'm currently in my second year of studying Social Anthropology at Edinburgh University. As mentioned I am going to be running in the upcoming student elections for a position that I have decided not to disclose as of yet for reasons which I'm sure will become clear within the coming weeks.
Instead of basking in self appreciation I am going to get someone else to write the rest of this blog-post.
...
Ah yes, and so the keyboard gets passed on to me, Ben's flatmate, to give a few helpful pointers as to how to deal with the curious beast that is Ben Trueman. The first piece of advice I could give any would-be Trueman hunters first and foremost, is to never look into look directly into his eyes. I say this in all seriousness, do not be charmed by his handsome features and character smile. They are poison to any self-respecting Ikea-shopping citizen. No sooner as looking at you as he has whirled you up in mad agenda of sexual fiendishness and anti-capitalist drunken acts of civil disobedience. Run. Hide. Take only what you need.
Having said that, if you have already been bitten like I have, there is no salvation. You might as well just go with it. Take a deep breath and acknowledge that once Ben has impregnated his way into your life, he doesn't plan on releasing his grip any time soon. I first met him what must have been close to five years ago, and since that moment I have been trapped.
He is a really lovely guy. He is always open to making new friends, and when he left for Australia over the summer and Greece over Christmas, I, along with all those who have had the enviable luck of of being acquainted with him, carried on our lives with that horrible knot in out stomachs that comes with not knowing if he is ever coming back. Luckily on both occasions he did, and much the same top bloke that he left, the same enthusiasm for life and the same respect and empathy for suffering. So here's to him. Raise your glasses people. EUSA doesn't deserve the bastard.
(the rest of this article has been censored by Ben for being too full of gushing innuendo)
Signed
zʇıɟ
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